♥♥♥It's a girl !!! ♥♥♥

"What?! Are you sure Doc?.."

Yan ang reaksyon ko, nung sinabi ng OB ko na baby girl ang baby namin ng hubby ko. As in nagulat talaga kami, kasi we're expecting na baby boy ang hinihintay naming baby. Pero sorry it's a GIRL! ^_^

Pareho kaming lalong naexcite nung nakita na namin siya through 4D ultrasound. ok lang kahit mahal sulit naman. Ang ganda niya kasi, tapos ang tangos ng ilong niya, mana sa daddy niya. Hindi ko pa sure kung kanino siya kamukha. Basta ang alam ko masayang-masaya kami na nakita na namin siya. We're praying nga na sana mai-normal delivery ko siya. By the way her name pala is JEWELCEI ANGELIQUE BERUNIO-LUKBAN. kaso yung daddy niya nag-inarte na naman, gusto niyang palitan yung name ng baby namin.. Maganda naman di ba? (what do you think?)

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♥ Miles apart ♥

It was Thursday night, the girl was waiting at her boarding house, lying on her bed waiting for her boyfriend to come. Because of his busy schedule Tuesday and Thursday was the only days he is free to visit her girlfriend. He is a graduating student then. She understands his situation. She received text message from him saying that he's outside. She hurriedly got downstairs to see him,he brought her to a restaurant to eat dinner. While waiting for our food.

Bf: "Hon, I have to tell you something".

Many things occupied her mind that time. She don't have any clue of what he is going to tell her.

Gf: (Is he thingking of breaking up with me? But why?!..)

It was the first question that come up to her mind...After a long silence... She asked him,

Gf: "Hon,what is it"?
Bf: "Hon I've passed the interview, next month will be my flight to Singapore, all the
requirements and papers are entrusted to our school and I have nothing to worry
about it. I'm just waiting for my passport. I don't want to leave you and my family but
this is an opportunity that I don't want to spoil, hope you'll understand. You know how
much I love you and I really hate to go... I will miss you Jenkins...It's just one year. I
hope that you will wait for me".

She remember about the interview and the one year contract he told her a week ago but She 's not expecting that this will be too soon. He's not breaking up with her girlfriend but he will going to leave her a month from now. She controlled herself not to cry because she felt shame, there were many people surround us. She'd lost her appetite on the food the waiter served to them because of what he told her.

The following days, Her boyfriend always visits her in boarding house whenever he has the chance to. They talked about it again and again and promised each other that they wouldn't let anything get between the two of them. She told him that she'd still be there when he comes back and they'll go on love each other. And she promise to wait for him. The truth was she didn't want him to go.

It's been nine months when this incident happened. Still... it is fresh in her memories. It is really hard to be in a long distance relationship. To be far and away to someone you love. There are times that she want to give up because she can't really bear the pain inside. But she don't want to have a feeling of regret. Their feelings for each other is still mutual and as long as they're not losing communication. She knows their relationship will nurture in spite of the fact that they're miles apart and she can fulfill her promise to wait for him ",

Notes:
This is a sad true to life story.. Hope this will give you readers inspiration... Sad to say the girl and her boyfriend were not together now, they're leaving in separate lives...Miles Apart relationship didn't work for them... But she's happy that once in her life She'd met someone like him...because of him she feel to love and be loved!

♥ When you're gone ♥

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

♥♥♥ Wala lang, someone reminds me this song. Ewan ko ba bakit naalala ko pa siya at bakit may alaala pa rin siya sa isip ko. Siguro ang naalala ko talaga ay yung time na sobra akong nagmahal sa isang tao na buong akala ko na siya na talaga ang para sa akin at kami ang para sa isa't isa. Pero hindi naman pala talaga. Ganon talaga ang buhay, walang permanent dito sa mundo, kaya hindi dapat tayo maging sobrang attached sa mga bagay or tao na nagpapasaya sa atin. Let's be thankful na lang lagi kay Papa God na binigay Niya ang mga magpapasaya sa atin kahit lahat yun is for temporary only.♥♥♥

♥ Love One ♥

Time and again,
I ask myself why
Things would have to turn out this way?
Lose the one you love,
Experience broken hearts,
Cry in pain, be in the dark.
I really thought being with someone you love
Would be enough, but I guess, I thought it all wrong.
I've realized that time will come, me and my love one will be apart...

No more kisses, and embrace. . .
No more I Love You's.
I guess we really have to believe in magic,
Once the magic is gone, be prepared,
Be brave, be strong to face what's in store for you next.
And one should realize that life must go on,
It may be sad, it may be hard.
If you're really not meant for each other
Then face the fact,
The reality that everything in this world has an ending.
But my love one,
My love didn't change the way it was,
I know you won't believe it but that's the way it is.

One must choose, one must sacrifice.
I choose to be alone but still loving you,
I've sacrificed everything even our precious relationship
'Coz I know you've gone through a lot of hardships because of me.
So I guess setting you free and letting you go would be
The best way for me to say I LOVE YOU so. . .
My dear, always remember that I'll be loving you forever
And who knows, the best of romances
Might somehow deserves second chances. . .

PS.
Daisy sana maka-relate ka dito.. ^_^
God bless you.

♥ All are excited ♥

Praise the Lord! Napakasaya ng weekend ko with my family. Umuwi kasi ako ng Laguna last Sunday. Tinawagan kasi ako ng Mom ko para ipaalam sa akin na dumating daw yung mga kapatid niya and Lola ko at ako daw ang hinahanap nila. Kaya lalo akong naexcite bumyahe pauwi sa amin para makita sila bukod sa namimiss ko na ang parents ko.

Mabuti na lang mabilis ang byhe, walang traffic. Hindi na kasi ako sanay bumyahe ng malayo. Mga 45mins lang ang byahe ko pauwi ng Laguna. Pagdating ko sa amin, sinalubong agad ako ng cute na cute na si Orange (isa siyang Shih Tzu..). Hinanap ko agad ang Mama at Papa ko dahil sila talaga ang sobrang namimiss ko. At laking tuwa ko nung nakita ko na ulit sila, sobrang niyakap ko sila ng mahigpit. Tapos maya-maya nandyan na din ang mga Tita ko ubod ng kukulit at puro maloloko. Masayang masaya sila na nalaman nila sa Mom ko na magkaka-baby na rin ako. Sobrang tuwa ko din at maraming taong nakapalibot sa akin na masaya at excited sa parating na baby namin ng hubby ko.

Masaya ako na sobrang naramdaman ko ang warm na pagwelcome nila sa papadating baby ko. Ang dami nilang advice sa akin na dapat gawin at kainin. At ang pinakabilin ng mga Tita ko, wag ko daw hahakbangan si Baby K0h, dahil malilipat daw sa kanya ang paglilihi ko. Kawawa naman ang hubby ko kapag siya ang naglihi, hindi pa naman biro ang paglilihi. Tapos yun puro na tawanan at kwentuhan ang ginawa namin sa maghapon. ang isang Tita ko nagluto ng napakasarap na ulam. Grabe napakain talaga ako ng husto nun. Panay din naman kasi ang bigay nila sa akin ng pagkain. Hehehe.. Napakasaya talaga ng araw na yun. Ganun din ang Lola ko, masaya rin siya para sa akin, dahil maabutan niya pa pala ang magiging apo niya sa tuhod..

Hayy, sobra-sobra talaga ang pagpapasalamat ko kay Papa God, sa pagkilos niya sa buhay ko. Na hindi niya ako pinabayaan, lalo na sa mga worries ko. He really loves me. Basta talaga you have faith in Him na kahit kasing laki lang ng butil ng mustasa, mangyayari at mangyayari talaga ang hinihiling mo. All are possible with God. (Matthew 19:26)

Hayy, lalo tuloy akong naexcite na dumating na yung baby namin na magdadala ng saya sa mga parents ko.. Thank you Jesus!

♥ I missed you so much Mama ♥

It's my 2nd day here in our new place in Makati ni Baby K0h. Okay naman yung place and yung owner. She's so nice to us. Wala kaming problem sa pakikisama. Masaya naman kami sa new house namin, kaso namamahay pa rin ako kahit nakakadalawang tulog na ako dun. Feel na feel na rin namin ni Baby k0h ang buhay may asawa. Everyday ako ang nauunang umuwi sa kanya from work. Kaya laging naghihintay pa ako sa kanya sa pag-uwi niya. Pero okay lang, at least pagdating niya may malinis na yung bahay and may nakaready ng dinner pagdating niya. Nag-aadjust pa rin kami sa kanya kahit matagal na kaming magboyfriend/girlfriend bago kami nagsama. Iba pa rin talaga kapag nakasama mo na sa bahay. Dun makikita kung pano siya gumalaw sa loob ng bahay, kung maingay ba siyang matulog or kumain, kung burara ba siya sa gamit or maimis, kung boring ba siya ng kayong dalawa na lang sa iisang bubong, at kung anu-ano pa. So far, wala pa naman kaming nagiging problem, ewan ko lang sa kanya kung may problem ba siya sa akin. Hehehe.

Kaso may isang bagay pa rin akong hindi ko pa nao-overcome, ang pagkamiss ko sa parents ko, lalo na sa Mom ko. Nung nagba-bye nga lang siya nung umalis ako hindi ko mapigilang mapaiyak habang naiisip ko na hindi ko na masyadong makakasama ang Mom ko. Sobrang mahal na mahal ko talaga sila ng Dad ko.

Kanina ngang umaga, hindi ko na naman napigilan ang emotion ko nung nagtext ang Mom ko sa akin.

"Good morning! Ako rin namimiss kita dito sa bahay pero massanay din tayo, basta mahal na mahal ka rin namin ng Papa mo, yan ang tandaan mo. Kailangan nyo lang talagang matutong magsarili muna para maipakita nyo na kaya nyo. Sige ingatan mong mabuti ang sarili mo. I love you and God bless you always."

Grabe, hindi ko man lang napigilang umiyak habang nandun ako sa tapat ng bakery naghihintay sa officemate ko pagpasok sa office. Panay ang pahid ko sa mga luha ko na parang hindi nauubos sa pagtulo. Bawat words na galing sa text ng Mom ko, tumatama sa puso ko, na parang napapaisip ako sana hindi muna ako bumukod, para laging ko silang kasama at hindi ako nalulungkot at nangungulila ng ganito sa kanila ngayon. Pero alam kong hindi pwede, dahil ayoko rin namang mawala yung pinaninindigan ko at yung taong mahal ko. Kahit nandito na ako sa office, tuloy-tuloy pa rin ang pag-iyak ko na para akong bata na naghahabol sa ina. Iniisip ko talaga sila ngayon kung kumusta na ba sila at ano ang mga ginagawa nila. Ngayon ko nararamdaman kung gaano sila kaimportante sa buhay ko. Kaya sobra rin akong nagpapasalamat kay Papa God na sila ang naging magulang at naging mapagmahal ng husto sa akin kahit may mga sama ng loob din akong naidulot sa kanila nuon nung nasa teenage years pa ako.

Gumaan na ang loob ko nung sinabi ni Mama:

"Kaunting tiis lang, at makakatabi ka rin dito sa bahay natin, kaya nga may bakante dito, para kapag napatunayan nyo na, na kaya nyo, pwede na kayong makalipat dito at magkakasama na ulit tayo."

I love you so much Mama!
Praise the Lord!..

♥ I loveyou Mama and Papa ♥

Yesterday, after the mass service, I prayed to Papa God na give me strength and courage para makausap ko ang Dad ko regarding sa pagpapaalam ko na magpapakasal na kami ni Baby k0h. Sobrang tutol kasi siya dun, kaya hirap na hirap akong kausapin siya tungkol dun. But I never give up, because I have faith na dadating ang time na matatanggap din ng Dad ko yung taong mahal ko.

Mga after lunch, sinubukan kong silipinsi Papa sa room nila. And napa-thank you Lord ako nung nakita ko siyang hindi busy. Pumasok ako na full of prayers na magiging maayos yung pag-uusap namin at masabi ko ang lahat ng gustong sabihin sa kanya at ihingi ng tawad sa kanila sa sama ng loob na naidulot ko sa kanila ng Mom ko. Tinabihan ko siya sa bed sabay yakap ng mahigpit,

Papa: Ano yun? may sasabihin ka ba? (malumanay ang kanyang boses)
Lesbee: Uhm.. (pabulong) may sasabihin ako sa'yo Papa.
Papa: Mmm.. Ano yun?
Lesbee: (pabulong) magpapaalam tabe kami na bubukod na kami ni Joel.
Papa:(pause..) Oh sige, kaya mo na ba?
Lesbee: Opo.. (napapaiyak na)
Papa: oh sige, tutal hindi ka na mapipigilan, nasa hustong edad ka na. Sige bumukod na
kayo. Pero kaya mo na ba talaga?
Lesbee: (umiiyak na..) opo Pa.
Galit ka ba tabe sa akin?
Papa: Hindi, hindi naman ako nagagalit sa'yo. Pinipigilan lang sana kita. Hindi naman sa
naghahangad kami na makapangasawa ka ng mayaman. Ang gusto lang sana namin, eh
yung stable na at kahit hindi ka na magtrabaho kaya kang buhayin ng mapapangsawa
mo at mabuhay sa nakalakihan mo. Syempre gusto namin ng Mama mo na nasa mabuti
kayong buhay. Kay pinipigilan sa na kita, pero nandyan na, ayaw mo ng papigil at
nakikita naming desisyunado ka na talaga, sige bumukod ka na. Sana lang mapagtiisan
mo siya at ang magiging bagong buhay mo.
Lesbee: (iyak na ng iyak..) Sorry talaga Pa sa sama ng loob na nbigay ko sa inyo.. Sorry
talaga, sorry.
Kakayanin ko naman po, at aasenso din kami katulad ng naging buhay nyo ni Mama.
(sabay yakap ng mahigpit)
Papa: Sige na, wag ka ng umiyak. Mag-asikaso ka na ng gamit mo.

(hayy, ang drama ko talaga.. Pero ganun talaga ako, sobrang emotional lalo't pagdating sa parents. Mahal na mahal ko kasi sila.) At yun nga, nag-ayos na ako ng mga gamit ko na kailangan ko, uniforms ko, mga damit ko, mga abubot ko, favorite pillows and blanket ko, etc.

Kinagabihan, dumating na ang Baby k0h para sunduin ako at ang mga gamit ko. Nagpaalam kami bago umalis, kaso si Mama pa lang ang napagpaalaman namin, nasa room kasi si Papa. Tinawag ni Mama si Papa para makapagpaalam na rin kami sa kanya. Paglabas niya,

Baby k0h: Pa, alis na po kami and salamat po.
Papa: Oh sige, ingatan mo 'tong anak ko ha, kapag hindi mo na kaya, ibalik mo na siya dito
sa amin.
Baby K0h: Hehe, hindi po mangyayari yun at aalagaan ko po talaga siya. Salamat po ulit.
Papa: Sige, ingat na lang kayo.

(Sabay yakap ko ng mahigpit kay Papa at nagpaalam)

Hinatid kami ni Mama hanggang gate namin.

Mama: Oh mag-iingat ka ha, tumawag ka lang dito kapag nagkaproblema ka.
Joel mag-ingat kayo ha, lalo na sa bagong lilipatan nyo.

Niyakap ko si Mama ng napakahigpit, na parang akala mo hindi na kami magkikita . Hindi ko na napigilang umiyak nung kumaway sa akin si Mama, habang papaalis na yung sasakyan namin. At kahit nasa byahe na kami, iyak pa rin ako ng iyak na parang gusto kong bumaba at bumalik sa mga magulang ko. Parang sinasabi ng isip ko, hindi ko pa kayang mawalay sa mga magulang ko, lalo na sa aking Mama. Mahal na mahal ko talaga sila.

Ganito pala ang pakiramdam, akala ko nung una simple lang, natural lang pero iba pala talaga kapag nandun ka na sa sitwasyon na yun. Buti na lang nasa tabi ko si Joel at kinomfort ako at sinabing,

Baby k0h: Wag ka ng umiyak bibisita naman tayo every week, palagi mo pa rin silang
makikita.

Lumuwag ang pakiramdam ko after niyang sinabi yun.Mahirap talagang malayo sa magulang lalo't Daddy's girl ka at sobrang attached ka sa parents mo. pero tulad nga ng sinabi ng asawa ko, lagi naman namin silang bibisitahin.

Mahal na mahal ko kayo Mama and Papa.. Lagi ko kayong mamimiss, kahit magkakaroon na rin ako ng sariling family.

♥Blah! Blah! blah! I hate it!! ♥

What's happening? Hindi ko maintindihan kung anong mga nangyayari ngayon. Nafufrustrate ako every time nakikita ko ang phone ko! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! This is bad. I don't know kung nawawalan na ba ako n tiwala sa kanya, or maybe because sa paglilihi ko at siya ang napapaglihian ko. Pero nakakainit talaga ng ulo. Hindi ko alam kung makitid ba ang utak ko or malakas lang talaga ang pakiramdam ko sa mga bagay na ganito. AAArrgghh!! I hate this feeling!

Hayy, pinipilit ko namang isipin na talagang busy siya sa work niya para sa amin, pero malaking bagay ba yung mawawala sa kanya, if he text me once or thrice? at tsaka ang nakakairita pa, everytime I opened this topic, nagrereason agad siya. Pero bakit iba ang pakiramdam ko. I feel that he's hiding something or doing something behind my back. Example:
"maghapon siyang hindi nagtext, even lunch time wala man lang. then naisip ko siyang itext."

Honey k0h: so busy? kaya don't even have time to text me?
Baby k0h: Hi Hon, sorry hindi ako makapagtext. Ayoko kasing masita ng boss ko na text ng text.

Sa loob-loob ko lang, "ganon?! kahit ba lunch time 'di ka pwedeng magtext? kalokah ha!". Pero syempre hindi ko na inireply sa kanya yun. Napapagod na din kasi akong pagsabihan siya or sitahin siya on texting issue. Bahala na lang siya. Lalo lang sumasama ang loob ko kapag sinasabihan ko siya tapos nagrereason out agad siya. Ayokong dumating sa punto na lalo akong mairita sa kanya at baka kung saan pa humantong. Pero anong gagawin ko? Nasasaktan at nahihirapan ako sa ginagawa niya. Dati naman hindi siya ganyan. At tsaka ayoko nitong mga tumatakbo sa isip ko na baka may ibang kinalolokohan na siya sa office nila. Na baka nagagawang niyang iignore ako dahil sa ibang tao. Ewan ko ba, makitid ba talaga ang isip ko?


Natatakot na tuloy ako. Baka talaga hindi kami para sa isa't isa at tama ang Dad ko na hindi ako para sa kanya. Naguguluhan na tuloy ako. Parang ayoko na tuloy matuloy ang kasal namin dahil sa mga doubts and worries ko sa kanya. Ayoko na kasi na may loloko pa ulit sa akin.. Tapos na ako dun, nadala na ako.

I hope and pray na ma-overcome ko to! Please guide me Father.